


Oh, Rose

by mutual_curiosity



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5524688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutual_curiosity/pseuds/mutual_curiosity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someday she would bloom too, they had told her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, Rose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zohawa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zohawa/gifts).



Emma von Rosewald was the most beautiful woman in her world.

She had soft hands and a delicate smile. Her movements were patient, light and airy. Karren had once asked her mother if she were ever a dancer, earning her lovely laughter. Father would always call mother his “rose.” And she was his rosebud. Rose and rosebud.

Someday she would bloom too, they had told her.

:: 

Karren burst into their mother’s personal study, where she was alone reading a book. 

Her mother wore a mildly surprised expression, but moved to slowly set the cup of coffee in her hands onto the table beside her. She carefully marked her page and closed the novel in her lap.

“What’s the matter, rosebud?”

Karren, barely five, toddled over and hugged her mother’s leg.

“The boys won’t let me play with them! They went off into the forest and told me ‘no girls allowed.’”

It was then that Nathanel also rushed into the room. His whole body exuded fatigue as he held himself up with the door frame.

“I didn’t do anything wrong! I told you mom’s going to kill you if you ruin your clothes.” He managed between pants and gasps for breath. A few moments later, Arunolt leisurely strode to join his brother’s side.

“It’s not fair-”

Their mother silenced them all with a small gesture. She brushed Karren’s bangs from her face and stroked her cheek.

“Nathanel’s right. These clothes aren’t for playing outside. I’ll help you find some of his old trousers and then you can join them. Does that sound alright?”

Not entirely mollified, Karren glanced over her shoulder at her brothers and then to the floor. Her mother gently tilted her chin up, but Karren’s eyes darted to the side, refusing to meet her mother’s.

“But why do I have to change? I like this dress.”

“There will plenty of time to wear dresses in the future. I promise.” She said, then raised her gaze. “Nathanel, Arunolt!”

The boys immediately straightened their posture, standing up straight like small soldiers.

“You’re both much older, you should be looking after your sister.”

“Yes, mother!”

::

“Check.”

Nathanel bit his lip, furrowing his brow in concentration.

“Nate, your face is twitching.”

“Not now, Karren.”

Nathanel moved his castle slowly, watching for any telling facial movement from Arunolt. As soon as he set his piece on the square, Arunolt swept his queen across the board, knocking over Nathanel’s king.

“Checkmate.”

“ _Scheiße_.”

“Nathanel, language!”

“Sorry mom.” He called over, resting his head on the table in defeat. Eventually he burrowed his head into his arms.

“You need to learn how to think ahead.” Arunolt chastised, and began putting the chess set neatly into its box.

A muffled “I do!” came from the lump in the chair across from him.

“You use tactics, but thinking a few steps ahead isn’t always going to work. Strategy is running through possible scenarios and preparing for them.”

“Mfffph.” 

Sensing that the game was over, Karren meandered to where her father was pouring over some papers and brochures. She innocently tugged on the fabric of his shirt that she could reach.

“Hey there, little rosebud.” He gathered the papers into one hand and used the other to pat his knee. Karren easily climbed up and settled in her father’s lap. She felt his strong arm come around her back to support her.

“What do you think about Switzerland or France? America?”

“America!?” She gasped.

“You kids are starting to get old enough to be curious about the world. Your mother and I were thinking about sending you to a boarding school. I might have some old business connections in the States.”

In her mind, this was how she preserved her family. Nathanel and Arunolt arguing in one corner, their mother sitting by the fire… And she’s sitting in her father’s lap as he tries to promise them the world.

Dreams of studying abroad vanished from mind when they were forced to flee to their house in Bremen.

Only years later would she realize her parents’ last attempts to send them off ahead to safety. Luck was not on their side.

::

The image of her brothers’ backs burned into her mind.

She was used to it - she was always too slow, being the youngest with the shortest legs. Always being left behind… And now she was alone.

She didn’t even know where she was. Eastern Europe, Russia? Father, mother, Nathanel, and Arunolt… Everyone had died for her to survive…and what? How would she “carry on the Rosewald name?”

She used her kagune to help her scale the outer wall of someone’s luxurious country house. It resembled their home in Berlin, and Karren could hardly believe how her life had changed in a matter of months. The owner’s backyard was huge and she sought refuge in the garden. The plants were covered with sheets, probably to protect them from the coming frost.

Karren collected the sheets to buddle herself for the night. When she came across the last, she uncovered bushes of yellow roses.

She wanted to cry.

Plucking a single red rose from the stem, she held it close as she wrapped the bed sheets around her. Her only companion, her confidante.

“I’m scared.”

::

“Wasn’t the Rosewald family annihilated by ghoul investigators?”

“Didn’t the late master leave behind a grandchild in Germany?”

“The late master was a bit of a ladies man, wasn’t he?”

“I am touched and I respect Master Mirumo’s magnanimous heart, but…” 

“For the Tsukiyama family…

“An ill omen..”

She was welcomed as a servant, and the house was full of talk and whisperings about her. No longer having to run, but no longer having a home, either.

“Mother, why is it only me?”

It was then that the Master’s son came to her and introduced himself. He knelt down, and asked her how she had gotten used to their home. And he took her by the hand and led her to the Tsukiyama family’s garden, and knelt down once again to offer her a rose.

“Please stop crying alone.”

::

“Magnifique!”

She was not used to this praise. The servants were always reprimanding her and correcting her pronunciation. But Master Shuu had merely smiled at the sound of her accent.

“It’s so wonderful that you know German!” Master Shuu seemed so intrigued. It was if he was still unaware of her precarious position in the household.

“It would be such a shame for you to forget your native tongue. Let’s practice together, Kanae!”

“Danke!”

::

_Ich, ich, ich-_

She can barely speak.

Her heart is trapped within a forest of roses. She is overflowing with all the words she cannot say. No, all the words she dare not utter aloud.

_Master Shuu, I-_

::

It’s cold and dark, and all she wants to do is sleep.

But the cacophony of ticking clocks keeps her awake, makes her feel like she’s waiting for something. Every part of her body is numb and she can barely register being inside her own skin.

Suddenly, she feels a gentle hand running fingers through her hair, then stroking her cheek.

_Mutter? Bist du est?_

“You… You’re quite presumptuous being that ugly, Kanae.”

_Ach, du._

The girl gets closer, and she’s forced to look at everything she is not. Curves, full and round swell of breast, soft dips and planes of her body… The girl before her is the woman she never had the chance to become.

She can feel the needle in her eye again.

::

_The sorrows of life, to not be able to live like yourself._

The rose is beautiful because you pluck it before it withers. Perfection, beauty, happiness - these things cannot last or be preserved, except in memory.

The smell of freshly cut roses. Traces of her mother’s perfume. The tickle of her father’s mustache on her cheek. Master Shuu at the piano. The sound of her name on Master Shuu’s lips. The feeling of holding him in her arms.

_Do I deserve to be happy?_

**Author's Note:**

> Scheiße - Shit  
> Ich - I  
> Danke - Thank you  
> Mutter? Bist du est? - Mother? Is it you?  
> Ach, du - Oh, you


End file.
